


Bigger Things Than This

by BugTongue



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Everyone else not so much, GNC Newt, Gender Dysphoria, Hermann is trying his best, Homophobic Language, M/M, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 01:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9575801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BugTongue/pseuds/BugTongue
Summary: A few snippets of Newt + The Gender, written for myself and a friend because of recent, textually obvious issues.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I think this is probably safe enough to not trigger anyone's dysphoria but just as a precaution, heed the tags. I'm writing Newt as dmab because that's what I felt like doing, I feel like its an idea that doesn't get enough love. hmu if you think this needs a tag I've managed to forget or overlook.

 

Normally the gears were well greased, allowing the machine that was Dr. Geiszler's mind to run smooth as it could at such a high speed. Normally speaking, he was ready for this.  
  
Normally speaking, he wasn't called a faggot in the middle of a meeting at the PPDC.   
  
He felt himself draw up and just stop halfway through a word to reroute his thought process, switching from 'I'm smart and have something to say' to 'I'm queer as in fuck you'. It was a hard switch, and he considered, within the span of a breath, what his best response should be. The room had juddered to a halt and he felt Hermann stiffen beside him, lean forward on his cane with his mouth set in a mean sort of twist. The marshal was faster, eyes sliding from Newt's to the ranger with a bad attitude.   
  
"That was out of line, I'm sure you can find the door." Stacker raised his chin without his expression changing, and the door slammed shut a moment later.   
  
Newt wet his lips and steadied himself after being nudged by Hermann's elbow. "Ah, anyway! The wall is a preposterous idea and if I've been 'running the show' here harping on that fact it's only because, and I'm trying to be as clear and nonhyperbolic as possible, funding the wall instead of offensive defense will actually kill us all. If you've got the facts to combat me instead of as hominem bullshit, no marshal I'm not sorry, I think I deserve to curse at least once during this meeting, then combat me. I don't think you do, but I have some serious doubts anyone's gonna listen to me regardless."   
  
***   
  
The nail polish was never the issue, it wasn't, but here he was furiously scrubbing alcohol into his fingernails with cotton swabs.   
  
When he worked lab, he wore gloves. That was _protocol_ , when you work you create a sterile environment. Sometimes his hair got long enough to curl over and touch his face, or worse still his eyes, so the clips were sensible if nothing else. KSCI never had a real uniform, just a dress code. He followed that dress code!   
  
No, the problem was _fucking_ straight people.   
  
Newt occasionally painted his nails, he wore eyeliner and put clips in his hair, sometimes he came into work wearing clothes cut for a figure that had hips. It was distracting, it was uncalled for, as if his music and tattoos _weren't_ . he grit his teeth and glared down at the color still stuck around the edges of his nails. Cheap watered-down rubbing alcohol, where did he even pick this up? He grabbed the bottle and poured it down the sink.   
  
Newt looked up into the dingy backing of the lab sink and looked himself over, with the scruff he couldn't fend off for more than a day and the way time was etching into his skin. He was getting too old for this already and he was only thirty.   
  
The lab needed a new supply of gloves, and if any of his coworkers had an issue with hot pink latex they could kiss his ass and buy their own with money out of pocket.   
  
***   
  
"So what, are you a dude or not?" The cadet- whoops no he's a ranger now- asked as newt was about to take a bite of his noodles. He'd decided to eat in the mess hall today and be sociable and was now seeing the error of his ways.   
  
He groaned. "Oh come on, the conversation was going so great. I was considering leaving the cave of science more often even." The ranger laugh. Newt hadn't bothered remembering his name.   
  
"Aw come on, you bring it up all the time how people shouldn't assume shit."   
  
"Yeah, and you're _assuming_ we're close enough for deep psychological conversations. I've only got so much energy for the day and I can't be wasting it talking about inconsequential things when theres, theres, theres ALIENS to dissect!" He waved his fork for emphasis and sighed when his lunch partner shrugged it off.   
  
"But what is it then? If you're secretly a girl or whatever you know you're too annoyingly necessary to get fired."   
  
"Or whatever."   
  
"What?"   
  
"Or whatever describes it the best, can we leave this alone now? Actually, we are leaving this alone because I'm done eating. Out here. I'm going to continue eating in the lab, Geiszler out."   
  
***

 

The lab was tense, Hermann scratching at his blackboard vehemently like the numbers today had personally offended him, Newt digging in a new specimen (with hot pink gloves) while dictating to his recorder. Most everyone had already called it a night by now with exception of one data enterer and Newton knew they were going to leave soon and then he'd be alone.  
  
With Hermann.   
  
Who he still had feelings for despite the end to their letter writing and by extension their friendship. That was a lie they were best fucking buddies, minus any actual fucking and plus a few bone-deep hurtful comments now and then. But they were workplace enemies and god Newt didn't want to deal with the latest line of questioning.   
  
Newt cleaned up before the person on data duty finished plugging the numbers in and caught a glimpse of Hermann setting down a piece of chalk and grabbing his cane. He was halfway to the elevator before he heard Hermann call out "Wait Newton, I'd like a word."   
  
"Can this word be only one actual word and that word be "night"? Because I'm exhausted, it has been an incredibly long day and there are a number of things I don't want to talk about."   
  
Hermann shouldered his way into the elevator behind Newt, looking so earnest and sincere that Newt honestly felt bad. Not too much, just a little bit. "Please, you have danced around this so long and it's _bothering_ me, I can't focus."   
  
"This is a terrible way to proposition a guy, just saying." Newt loosened his tie, pulling it off entirely and looping it around Hermann's neck. The man pulled a face but did nothing to fix the situation to his liking.   
  
"Are you though?"   
  
Newt shut his eyes and sighed heavily, pulling the tie away. "God's sake dude, what did I just say?"   
  
"Yes that's precisely what I'm curious about. _Are_ you? You've never given a straight answer."   
  
Newt leaned against the wall of the elevator and ignored the doors opening, then closing again. They didn't move. "... Y'know, people aren't math problems. You don't get to have all the data, you don't get to know the fucking value of y every time."   
  
"I understand that, but I've, we've known eachother for so long and I don't understand." Hermann looked like he knew he wasn't catching on and was pained for it and all Newt wanted to do was shove him. Maybe make out with him maybe just knock him down, maybe push him and leave the elevator because it's been a long day and he's tired. "Newton, I'm not going to harm you by knowing."   
  
"There is nothing to know!" Newt threw his arms in the air and rounded on him. "There is no answer to give! I don't have anything to tell you because it's uncomfortable and confusing and I don't like thinking about it! No, no I am not a guy, no I'm not comfortable with-" he tugged at the front of his shirt and rubbed a hand over his jaw. "-I'm not fucking comfortable, I don't know what to tell you because I don't have the value of y either, can you for once in your anal retentive life just let it go?"   
  
Hermann stood very still, expression carefully blank as he held tight to the handle of his cane with both hands. His lids fluttered as he took a long breath. "I'm sorry, for overstepping a boundary. I simply thought-" Newt cut him off with a head shake.   
  
"I know. I get it, can we go to our rooms now?"   
  
Hermann nodded, and pressed the door release.

 

***

  
Finally, after so much production and the combined foolishness of two grown jerks, a quiet moment found them standing only inches apart in the lab. Newt slid a hand between hermanns jacket and his sweater vest, and moved in closer as hermann let their foreheads touch while the fingertips of one hand brushing Newt's jaw.   
  
Newt winced and jerked away at the sandpaper-on-skin sound. "Ah, maybe not right now."   
  
"Whyever not?" Hermann's brow furrowed and he tilted his head as if to kiss Newt anyway, but paused.   
  
"Just uh, just y'know maybe this isn't the best time, catch me in the morning?" He moved to pull away but stopped when hermann reached out to touch his shoulder.   
  
"How about if I don't touch your face?"   
  
"It's- you're going to, you have to touch my face with your face dude, what kind of stupid-" Newt stopped when Hermann laughed quietly and pet the small dip behind Newt ear with his thumb.   
  
"You'll allow me to see you wear the same outfit for a month, clearly unwashed and disheveled, your hair a disaster and flecks of monster goo on your sleeves, but you can't handle the fact I may not mind your five o'clock shadow?"   
  
"... Nahhh, don't make this about you and steal my spotlight. It's about me, it bothers _me_ ." Newt smiled when the other rolled his eyes and leaned in to press their lips together.   
  
"Then that's all you'll get." Hermann's breath was a lukewarm breeze across his jaw and Newt leaned in to kiss him again, then again as his tie was tugged on.


End file.
